


someone to stay

by moondances



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Birthday, Birthday Sex, Boys In Love, Comeplay, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Everyone kisses everyone here, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of kissing, M/M, Polyamory, Porn with Feelings, Tactile, Threesome - M/M/M, happy birthday yjh, i suppose i should also add, i tried very hard to mention all of seventeen in a very short span of time, theyre all here, uhhh i do not know what to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:21:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26805787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moondances/pseuds/moondances
Summary: It's not that Jeonghan hates his birthday –– no, nothing like that. It's just that it's not really his anymore.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 164





	someone to stay

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO.... some demon possessed me while i wrote this. it was (again) a little tiny bday fic for our little angel boy himself but turned into a slightly larger little bday fic in which jeonghan misses home and loves his boys
> 
> this is 100% unbetad and largely written in a span of four hours so if there's a ton of mistakes please forgive me! i hope that it's not too bad and! i hope that you enjoy it
> 
> my self indulgent use of seventeen being tactile kissy boys in this fic is horrible. im not sorry  
> everyone please blow jeonghan a bday kiss right now *mwah*

It's not that Jeonghan hates his birthday –– no, nothing like that. He used to love it, waking up early with the sunrise, his mother cooking him his favorite sweet breakfast treats, sticking candles in the syrupy foods, keeping him home from school and treating him to a day of just the two of them until his sister and dad returned from the day's work. They'd celebrate into the night, do all of Jeonghan's favorite things, blow out _more_ candles, make _more_ wishes, pull out his dad's telescope and look at the stars, put on his new birthday pajamas, snuggle up on the couch with his family, full of sweets, sated and happy. –– it's just that it's not really _his_ anymore.

Ever since debut, birthdays have become about everything else. The cover of the Book Of Birthdays makes it seem like it's all about Jeonghan, a day _just for him_ , but the inside pages are written out, planned to a tee, what he's meant to say and do, how he's supposed to spend his day. And of _course_ he loves doing those things, getting on live and telling the fans hello, being told happy birthday by thousands of people who love him so deeply, thousands of messages, letters and gifts at his disposal. Of course he loves all of that. He's more than grateful for it, even.

But sometimes it feels a little lonely.

Like now, for instance, just minutes away from midnight. Used to, he would be logging on to go live, ring in the day with the fans. However, he's feeling a little pathetic tonight. He'll go live tomorrow when he doesn't feel like he's got a hole the size of his mom's birthday breakfast in his heart.

It's dark in his room –– His bed, big and white and soft and cold to the touch, swallows him whole. He thinks he would probably feel better if he'd just get up and turn on a light, look at the pictures on his night stand, taped to the wall, but instead he curls in further, pulls the blanket up to his chin, and watches the hands on his glow in the dark clock crawl closer to twelve.

He's not sure if the other boys in the dorm are even awake. He's really not even sure who's all come home from the practice rooms and studio. Comeback is soon, so Jeonghan can't blame them for practicing into the darkest hours of the night. He himself had stayed later than he'd wanted, but was still the first to go. With the rare alone-time in the dorm, he had drawn himself a bath, dropped a lavender scented bath bomb into the water, and melted away the day in the warm water. He thinks maybe, this might be the first birthday since debut that he's alone at midnight.

That's okay, he decides.

A birthday is just another day, after all.

(Except a part of him _aches_. He wants to go home –– Wants one more birthday morning tucked into his mom's side, wants one more evening playing pretend with his sister, wants one more night looking at the stars through the telescope with his dad in the backyard. A part of him aches to open a little yellow envelope, a birthday card, handmade, his mom's penmanship perfect and pretty and delicately written, a careful, gentle, _happy birthday, Jeonghan-ah, we love you_ written under whatever she had drawn him, all three of their signatures special.)

Next to him on his bed is a box of cards he brought from home when he had first moved to Seoul. Full of little yellow envelopes, polaroid pictures of his sister and his parents. His favorite picture is one of him and his sister sat at the kitchen table, baby blue and yellow and pink balloons scattered around them, smiles boxy and wide, vanilla icing smeared on both of their noses. He knows the picture is there, on top, but he thinks if he takes the lid off of the shoebox, the lump in his throat that he has under control will win whatever silent battle they have going.

The clock strikes midnight, and he lets out a breath he didn't realize he was even holding.

No ground shifts. The mountains do not move. The tides do not change. 

That's okay.

He reconciles with the fact that he's ringing in the day alone, tucks the truth into bed, and is ready to let the mom-sized hole in his heart win the battle when there's a loud knock at his door.

It happens quick ––

Twelve voices start singing and bodies flood like a broke dam into his tiny room. Someone flicks on the lights, and he doesn't know when it happened, but he's sitting up, back pressed against the wall, and bodies start to climb into bed with him. His vision blurs, alligator tears welling in his eyes, threatening to flood over the gate. He knows his bottom lip is trembling, but a smile finds its way to his lips anyway.

Of course they came.

 _God_ , of _course_ they came. 

He takes in the sight of all twelve of his boys around him, most of them squeezing onto his bed, a few standing just in front of it. Soonyoung, Seungkwan, and Seokmin are pressed into his side, peppering kisses all over his face. Joshua stands quiet to the side, a secret smile playing at his eyes, the cake (with vanilla icing, just like his mom makes) resting in his hands. Minghao's got ahold of one of his hands, their fingers interlocked, and Mingyu has the other.

Like the angels they are, no one comments on his wet cheeks, they just brush the hair out of his eyes and the tears off of his cheeks, hold him tighter.

Suddenly, he remembers Joshua standing to the side, candles lit on the cake, and calls him over, closer.

It takes all of his strength, but he pulls himself out of the boys' grip, and he hears Soonyoung say, "Make a wish, hyung," voice pressed close to his ear like a kiss.

He closes his eyes, swallows down the lump in his throat, and smiles a smile that tastes like syrup and melancholy.

"Make it count," Seungcheol says, the smile on his face audible, "You only get one."

Jeonghan nods. "I know how wishes work, Cheol," he jokes, laughs wetly, but turns his head towards the cake, never opening his eyes.

For once in his life, he doesn't know what to wish for. He thinks for a moment –– He's healthy, he's happy, he's got the boys, the group, the fans, his family (even if they seem so far right now). His safety net and his home are one in the same, and they're all tucked into this tiny bedroom with him right now. 

So, he wishes, as he starts to let out all the air in his chest, wishes hard, _I hope they are happy. I hope I make them happy, too._

As many of the boys that can fit squeeze in bed with him, push him down, shower him with raspberry kisses and he feels someone's (Minghao, he thinks,) nimble fingers braiding his hair over and over. Someone smears cake on his nose, and someone else kisses it off, giggles bouncing off of the walls.

How silly he was to feel so far from home.

How silly he was to forget that his home is right here.

Something in his body clenches, tight, releases on a happy sigh. It's a moment of light when he turns his head to the side and is met with the sight of Seungcheol and Joshua sharing a secret smile near the doorway. They catch his eyes, and he smiles back, they share a silent promise of _soon_ , and Jeonghan melts into the tactile hands and lips of the ten other boys.

Happy birthday is sung to him at _least_ three more times, led by Seokmin who waves his arms around in what he thinks is supposed to be a time signature. Jeonghan's heart smiles, and he smiles back. 

Jeonghan doesn't think there's such a thing as too many wishes, so when Chan shoves a piece of cake into his mouth, he closes his eyes and wishes again: _I want to wrap this moment up safe in a little yellow gift box, I want to keep it with me forever._

The night winds down, and Jeonghan is comfortably full, red wine staining his lips. All of the boys climb out of his bed one by one and each give him a kiss before they go, to his cheeks, his nose, his forehead (his lips, _Soonyoung_ ). Jun snaps the rubber band of the party hat on Jeonghan's head, kisses his temple, sloppy and wet, says "Happy birthday, hyung," the last syllable uttered like a secret shared between them. Jeonghan smiles, takes all of Seungkwan's kisses for himself, falls back on the bed, and waves dramatically as they all file out.

(Wonwoo plays along with his game, blows a kiss as he walks, sends a wink in his direction, and says _Don't miss me too much!_ )

Well, almost all of them file out. 

Jeonghan rolls to his side, and for the first time since all the bodies moulded into his space that night, he feels shy.

Seungcheol's gaze bores on him, but a smile lingers under the mask of something heavier. 

"Shua?" He wonders aloud, the absence of his presence jarring.

"He's coming right back. He had to go to the bathroom."

Jeonghan nods, thinking hard about the ups and downs, brain wine-muddled and foggy. 

"Will you come lay down, though? While we wait?" He feels almost unsure, like he doesn't know why Seungcheol's here –– Like he doesn't know this arrangement like the back of his hands. He allows himself the uncertainty for just a moment, indulges himself like it's the first night. Like it's the two of them desperately climbing into bed after a particularly terrible day and finding comfort in each other's touches, finding a home in the way Seungcheol kisses him, kisses _it's okay, it's okay,_ like he's trying to make Jeonghan believe it. Like if he kisses him a little harder, holds him a little closer, they might just stick together, maybe Jeonghan won't leave like he's threatened to do so many times when things were hard. Kisses _please don't go_ , _please stay here with me –– with us_ into his skin, tattoos it into his blood like ink, anchors him and keeps him floating on top of the water.

Except most boats need two anchors.

The door swings open, and Joshua stands there, pink and blue and yellow balloons in one hand, a bag with confetti and tissue paper sticking out of it in the other, and a big, dopey smile on his face.

For the millionth time that night, Jeonghan's heart grasps for something to hold onto, smiles so wide it chokes, takes Jeonghan by surprise when it's wings flutter around in the birdcage.

The first thing he notices is the balloons in Joshua's hands, pink and blue and yellow like the ones in the photo of him and his sister. The second thing Jeonghan notices is that Joshua has changed clothes.

He's in a pajama set, his yellow with little white hearts all over it, and Jeonghan shakes his head quick, his eyes widening as he looks from Joshua to Seungcheol, desperate to figure out what's going on.

The two boys place themselves on the bed next to Jeonghan, and Joshua hands the bag over, whispers, "Go on, then," when Jeonghan's fingers brush over the tissue paper.

He looks up, and he can _feel_ it, can feel the way he's thread bare in love in front of them, knows it's written all over his face, wide eyed and pink cheeked, chest rising and falling in time with the pathetic love song beating through his body.

When he takes the tissue paper out and neatly folds it beside him, he swears he falls a little bit harder, tugged by some invisible rope, tied to either side of him. 

Inside the bag is two sets of pajamas matching the one's Joshua is wearing –– a pink and a blue set, and Jeonghan lets out the sweetest sigh in the world. "Shua," he breathes, looking up from the bag, finds Joshua already looking at him, and has the wind knocked out of him at the honesty spelled on his face, _I love you, this is home, please stay here with us._

Joshua kisses him, takes his time writing poetry on his lips, kisses him sated and open, but speaks against his skin, "There's more."

" _No,_ " Jeonghan whines, disbelief clear in his voice. He pulls back, and takes the pajama sets out of the bag. At the bottom of the bag is a little yellow box, and this time, Jeonghan _does_ let out a whimper, the gentlest of sobs crashing over him. 

A little yellow box, one just like his mom would have gotten him. He smiles, wipes a tear off of his cheek with his shoulder, and holds the box in his hands. Thinks, _I want to keep this moment here forever. I want to tuck it away in a corner of my heart in this little yellow box._

Seungcheol kisses him behind his ear, rests a hand on his thigh, waits patiently while Jeonghan just stares at the small little cardboard box in his hands. He's not sure any of this is real, isn't sure how or why he gets to sit on this bed, gets to love and be loved by these two boys who keep him safe and keep him here and make sure he doesn't let himself sink. He doesn't know if he deserves it, but he hopes he does.

When he opens the box, a hiccup of a cry falls from his lips.

A little silver bracelet, three constellations between three small pieces of chain. A lion, scales, and a sea goat.

Joshua speaks first.

"We wanted to get a telescope, so you could look at the stars, but we don't really have the space, plus Seoul is pretty polluted, so we didn't want it to be a bad view."

Seungcheol hums against his skin, reaches for the bracelet, clasps it into place on Jeonghan's wrist, and thumbs over each of the constellations. "We were hoping that these stars would be enough to suffice."

"You fucking idiots," Jeonghan sniffles, but turns to Seungcheol with a wobbly smile, sees him open his mouth to speak, but moves in quick to kiss him, no intention or rush, trying to pour all of his love and adoration into the kiss, holds both of his cheeks between his hands. He hears Joshua murmur faintly, "That's a bit rude," but can tell he's smiling, too.

He kicks around his foot until he collides with Joshua, never stops kissing Seungcheol, and Joshua gets the hint, comes behind him, presses his chest to Jeonghan's back, sandwiches him between the two of them, and Jeonghan sighs into Seungcheol's mouth.

Joshua's got his hands on Jeonghan's arms, his thighs, wherever he can reach, and Jeonghan pulls back from Seungcheol only long enough to say, "I am so in love with you. You didn't have to do anything, but you did it all anyway."

They both make a noise of acknowledgement, and he's kissed again, all over, until he's warm and floaty. He lets himself be pushed onto the bed, (and maybe lets himself be spoiled, just a little,) and taken care of.

Joshua kisses _I love you_ 's and _I am so glad you stayed with us_ into his skin, marks pretty purple bruises into his neck while Seungcheol opens him up on two fingers. They take him apart slowly and carefully, in a way that Jeonghan never really admits to how much he likes. (He doesn't have to, they know he loves to be pampered even without him saying anything. The goosebumps do enough speaking for his mouth.)

Seungcheol's well versed in prepping him, but he never rushes the process, loves to drag it out and make Jeonghan wait. Tonight is no exception. If anything, tonight is worse. His fingers scissor inside of him long enough that Jeonghan actually thinks he's going to lose his mind, Joshua's hand lazily stroking his cock doing nothing to help the situation. With both of their hands on him like this, Jeonghan feels dizzy in a thousand ways.

He hates fucking begging.

"Please," he does it anyway, " _Please,_ Cheol, I'm ready, please, promise, I––"

Joshua kisses him quiet, licks into his mouth and ruts against his thigh, his own cock hard against Jeonghan's skin, and they both moan into the kiss. He distracts him so well that Jeonghan almost doesn't notice the slow drag of Seungcheol's fingers leaving him. Almost. "Fuck," he hisses into the kiss, but Joshua shushes him again, leaving kitten kisses along his jaw.

Something cold drips between Jeonghan's thighs and he gasps, shocked, until he feels the tip of Seungcheol's cock lining up with his hole. Joshua sits up straight, eager eyes watching them as Seungcheol presses in, inch by painstakingly slow inch.

"You're doing so well, Hannie," Joshua's voice crashes over him like a wave, and he turns his head, voice dying in his throat when he sees the other boy spread-kneed and two fingers deep next to him. He whips his head towards Seungcheol like he's looking for help, but instead, Suengcheol sizes him up, smiles sickeningly sweet for being balls deep in Jeonghan, and says, "We're going to take it slow tonight, okay, baby?" 

Jeonghan's mouth has gone dry, his tongue shriveled up like a raisin at the back of his throat. He wants to bite back, wants to say, _fuck me like you mean it,_ but any fight left in him is pushed out when Seungcheol rocks his hips, timed with the lewd, slick sounds of Joshua fucking himself on his fingers. Jeonghan wants to kiss him, wants a part of him to be touching Joshua, too, but he can't reach him well from this angle.

Seungcheol's hips roll lazy into his own, the pace he sets enough to have Jeonghan heady and moaning, but not so much that he's not still got some semblance of control.

He reaches across the bed until he finds Joshua's knee, circles his hand around it, and presses his fingertips into the skin just above Joshua's calf, pulls it closer to him until Joshua stumbles forward. He catches himself, but shimmies closer until his legs are just beside Jeonghan's head, and he can lean over, can reach to press kisses into his skin, just above his knees, into his thighs, on any skin he can reach.

He drags a leg up and wraps it around Seungcheol which switches the angle, and Seungcheol's cock brushes right up against nerves, and Jeonghan is fucking soaring, pulls his mouth away from Joshua to look up at Seungcheol. He must get the hint, must see the fucked-out look on Jeonghan's face, because he leans down, kisses him sloppy and wet, all teeth and tongue.

Jeonghan can't see Joshua anymore, but he can feel the way his thighs are shaking with every pump of his fingers, and Jeonghan can't stand the fact that he's doing this all to himself, so despite the awkward cramp it gives him, reaches around until he find Joshua's wrist, guides his strokes in time with he and Seungcheol.

Joshua keens above him, and Seungcheol groans into Jeonghan's mouth at the sound, and things change quickly after that. Seungcheol's hands are all over Jeonghan, who's got drool in the corner of his mouth, glassy eyes, and determination. His hand leaves Joshua's wrist and finds his cock, thumbs at the tip, scratches it with his nail the way he knows will have Joshua falling apart, and rocks his own hips up to meet Seungcheol's.

If they can't fuck faster, they can fuck deeper, he thinks, fighting back a roll of his eyes and a snort when he realizes he can defeat Seungcheol's logic in his own way. 

Joshua's fucking into Jeonghan's hand and back onto his own fingers earnestly now, and Jeonghan stares Seungcheol dead in the eyes as he meets his hips, pretty sounds falling from all the lips in the room, skin slapping against skin vibrating off the walls. 

Jeonghan's completely blissed out, being fucked so deep he can't hardly think anymore, loses sight of his plan when Seungcheol changes his direction and relentless fucks into Jeonghan, brushing against the nerves every time. He's nearly crying, his hand on Joshua's cock still there, but hardly moving. When he remembers, he tightens his grip, and Joshua whines, high in his throat, lets his words out, rushed.

"Han, I'm gonna–– Cheol, please, _please_ , can I––" 

"Go ahead, baby," Seungcheol speeds up, if only slightly, but Jeonghan still picks up on it, and he's _grateful,_ of course, but he's going to come quicker now, and–– "On his face, though."

His eyes shoot open, wide and maybe a bit eager. 

"If that okay with Jeonghannie," he checks, polite, and Jeonghan nods.

"Yes, yeah, fuck, Shua-yah, please," he chants, turns his wide eyes to the other boy, meets his gaze from under feathery eyelashes. He comes back to his body for long enough to help, finishes Joshua off with quick pumps of his hand, and lets his eyes flutter shut when Joshua paints his face pretty. 

He feels it on his cheeks, feels it when Joshua leans down and presses his cock against the skin of his lips, smears his cum across Jeonghan's chin, all spit slick and messy. 

Before he knows it, Seungcheol grows impatient, fucks into him quicker, drops his head and thumbs over Jeonghan's hip bones, grips the skin white-hot while he spills inside of him. Jeonghan finishes like that, comes untouched and all over his belly, his own moans mixing with Seungcheol's.

Sometime later, Jeonghan's not sure if it's two minutes or two hours, someone's thumb swipes across the mess on his cheeks and eyes, and clicks their tongue. 

"What a mess my boys made," Seungcheol speaks, mock disappointment, but a hint of something darker peeking through. 

Jeonghan opens an eye once he decides it's safe, and finds Seungcheol smiling at them, finds Joshua next to him, smiling as well.

Jeonghan can't help it, and he smiles too. 

He lets them clean him up, take warm rags and wipe them over his face, gently over his eyes, around his belly, and between his thighs. They kiss each bruise left behind, kiss promises into his skin.

They shower together, take turns shampooing each other's hair, and Jeonghan loves it because they smell like him, like strawberries and vanilla and something a little bit warmer. 

When they're dry later, they dress in their new matching pajamas, and curl up in Jeonghan's bed.

Joshua is on one side, pressed into him, fingers tracing hearts into the space where his pajama shirt has ridden up, and Seungcheol is on the other, a leg draped over both of them, and he brushes his fingers through Jeonghan's hair.

It's quiet for a while, all of them taking in the time to themselves. It's not often they're alone like this, and though Jeonghan knows that it's special because it's his birthday, really, it's special because it's _them._

He thinks back to the early days, when it seemed like it was him and Joshua against the world. When it was him and Joshua against the big bad company, the training process sucking all of the light out of them, rejection after rejection. He thinks back to Joshua saying he wanted to leave, that he wanted to _go home, Jeonghan_ , and remembers feeling like he wouldn't stay without him. _If you go, I go._

He remembers staying for Joshua.

He thinks of Seungcheol, the eldest of the boys, but still so young and confused and hurting. He remembers coming home from a day he'd spent back home to Seungcheol frustrated and angry about a meeting he'd had with the company that evening. He remembers Seungcheol saying through tears something about being a better leader, better for the boys, better, _better, or I go,_ and Jeonghan had said, _you're the best. You're not going anywhere._

So, they had stayed. The three of them together had stayed and made a home here. They had carved out a home the size of thirteen boys and a lot of fucking hope. They had done it, and here they were, tangled in bed on Jeonghan's birthday.

Here they were, holding him through his homesickness, his wishing-I-was-fifteen-again-sickness, his _I wish the stars in Seoul were a little brighter_ sickness. Grounding him. Anchoring him.

The bracelet on his wrist is heavy, and it feels important, and it feels like something much more than it is probably meant to feel like.

He kisses Joshua's shoulder, then Seungcheol's, and says, "Thank you."

Joshua tightens his grip on Jeonghan. Seungcheol speaks up first, "For what?"

"For sticking it out," he thinks he speaks for all three of them when he says it. He thinks he knows they all mean it, that they all want to be like this forever, however that looks. The thirteen of them as close as they can be. Joshua and Seungcheol keeping Jeonghan's feet on the ground. Jeonghan from keeping them from sinking too deep.

And Jeonghan's never been one to think wishes have to stop at midnight, so he closes his eyes and thinks hard, _I hope I can keep this moment right here wrapped in that little yellow box. The stars in Seoul are brighter with you by my side._

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!! i am so exciting to enjoy writing again
> 
> i hope you all liked this little thing, please lmk if you did (and please do not let me know if you didn't!!)
> 
> find me on twitter [here](http://www.twitter.com/jihanisms) if you'd like <3


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